Writing Lesson #1: The trouble with “all in one chunk”
Yes, some messages work fine coming in just one “chunk,” especially if too short to benefit from dividing up. Take, for example, a text that simply acknowledges, “Got it.”
But most messages contain more information than that. Read over this example text:
Jonas, before we leave for school tomorrow, by 9:10 at the latest, brush your teeth extra well, since you’ll go straight to Dr. Phyllin’s new office for your check-up, right after Dad, who will be driving the Forester, picks up you and Mila at the stop sign, immediately after the 2:50 bell lets you out.
Pop Quiz! Cover the text above – then list all the discrete facts you recall from it. _________________ ________________________________________________________ Facts recalled: n=______
Q: Of that long sentence, which, FYI, stands as grammatically correct (though cluttered!), what would you call the “main point” (aka thesis)? What’s the most important point – we can say the heart – of this note?Write it here: _______________________________________________________________
Fact Check! Uncover the text above and, underline each “discrete fact” you find, numbering each as you go along. – Facts counted: n=_____ re-thought thesis: ___________________________________
Revising for clarity and emphasis via separate paragraphs
“Buried Treasure”: That’s what I call important info that gets “lost” or “buried” inside long “chunks” of text, usually because paragraphs run too long, especially on a screen. On paper, “one-chunk” messages can bury important info, but long, skinny screen columns (as on a phone) greatly worsen the problem. So take special care with texts and all online messaging.
“Treasure Revealed”: To “unearth” and even highlight the “treasure” (most important info) in our messages, use the “First and Last” rule of arrangement (more formally known as “primacy/recency”):
“F & L Rule”: We best retain the message elements we read or hear first and last in any “message” – including within message parts, such as sentences and paragraphs.
Let’s unearth our “treasure” (important info) via shorter, discrete “chunks”:
Note: I’ve pasted in a screen shot from the actual Lesson 1 handout used in my tutoring. The student (Jonas) then copied the text by hand, but this time breaking it into separate “chunks” (mini-paragraphs), so that the important details that were “buried” in the one-chunk form now stand out, especially if starting or ending the little paragraphs formed.
So that’s Lesson 1 in my writing system. It’s about as simple as writing gets. Don’t write your texts, posts, and other messages “all in one chunk!”
These days, almost every message you read, especially on your phone, violates this simple rule. By taking care to rise above that pretty-lame standard, you’ve already improved your writing – as promised! You can do it.
For the “narrative” version of this lesson (written out in book form, describing, in much more detail, how I would teach this in my CU-Boulder writing classes), click on “Lesson 1, The Narrative.”
Happy reading. Over in the narrative version of each lesson I present on this site, I will write to you as if you are a student of mine, as you will see. To improve your writing requires improving your reading, and now makes a great time to begin with that!